#17 Now

Now I’ve been teaching for 2 months, one to one beginner English, 4 days a week. It has been just enough to remember some of what I cram-learned in the four short but intense weeks of CELTA training.

Next week I start a classroom job on top of the one to one. I’m scared that I’ll have forgotten what and how to do it.

I remember when I was deciding whether to do an English degree or not I was sure that I would not end up being a teacher. I guess I was wrong!

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#16 Then

I wrote this post in October, on my phone, conscious that the man behind was lening slightly foward as if to read what I was writing. I forgot to press post and saved it til later. I’ve just discoered it now…

I am on the bus into town, as we cross the toll bridge and round the corner I glance out of the window and see the mist rising over wytham woods. A line of small birds, indistinct from this distant, decorate the telegraph wires. In my ears Damon Albarn’s voice croons softly. I am on my way to becoming a EFL teacher. 4 weeks of this bus ride, 11 hour days, being both student and teacher in one day, I have been told to expect no social life for the duration of the course but am wondering whether to party like its halloween this weekend anyway. It is a complete contrast to the hell that I went through only a few short months ago. I am a new person, one with purpose and worth.

#15 finally

Finally.

Finally I get my children back.

They are almost mine again, I share them now but it is better than not at all.

Finally. 

I have spent innumerable crying hours. More money than I have and all of my emotional resources.

Last week my daughter played with a boy that she knew years ago.  It was sweet, they were new friends, neither remembered each other but they enjoyed each others company thoroughly. 

I hope to have more happy moments to replenish the hellish last 5 months 

#14 Hurt

v. Hurt, hurt-ing, hurts

1. To cause physical damage or pain to; injure.

2. To cause mental or emotional suffering to ; distress.

n.

1. Mental suffering; anguish.

 

I am hurting.

More writing later maybe but not now.

 

#13 Access to Justice

In the last few weeks events in my life have taken a few odd twists and turns.

A fortnight ago I knew next to nothing about the court and justice system. Now I know nearly enough to begin a law degree [hyperbole – but you get the picture]

Who would have thought that it would be possible for a judge to make a life changing judgement based on the grossly exaggerated statement of a vicious man without considering any evidence? Not me. But it can happen and has happened.

The legal aid cuts to family law cases that the government introduced last year have meant that access to justice is being severely restricted. People like myself can no longer afford to defend ourselves in cases where rash decisions based on misinformation have been made.

My children are suffering and I am suffering. There is no sense in this country anymore.